Hari ini, kita bertengkar lagi.

Hari ini kita bertengkar.
Marah,
Rusuh,
Berkecamuk,
Beratakkan semuanya.

Renung mata kamu tajam,
Bertubi tubi hati aku dihiris dengan kata kata menjatuhkan.
Lantas aku terdiam kelu kaku,
--
Pada satu masa aku tersenyum
Melihat kamu yang tulus, membenarkan.
Detik itu aku sedar,
Aku bukan yang terbaik.
Perasaan sakit itu pergi.
Yang tinggal cuma perasaan sayang.

Waktu itu aku sangat memerlukan kamu,
Kita bertengkar.

Moga Tenang.

Moga tenang
Biar hati kau parah.
Mata merah yang merasakan marah.
Runsing.
Perasaan kabut yang seakan akan di kerah,
sang penikam.

Hitam.
Kelam.

Soalnya.
Apa medisinya?
Cuma kata kata jauh yang dilontarkan ke dasar menantinya cuma bunyi sayup menggeletar.
Apa jawapannya?

Moga tenang, sayang.
Sesuatu yang baik akan menanti datang.
Nanti aku pulang,
Bersama khabar gembira, dari dasar hati.
Moga tenang.

Mimpi

--

untuk merasakan sesuatu yang indah bukan semudah seperti tutur kata,

kadangkala waktu itu rumit, kita harus melepaskan sesuatu yang sukar untuk kita lakukan,

seperti aku,

siapa yang mengerti akan tentang rasa kalau cuma kita?

kalau kamu lelah tentang aku,

aku masih mencuba walaupun aku tahu rasa itu menipis.

membiarkan kamu pergi itu bukan satu pilihan untuk aku.

tidak pernah terlintas.

tapi untuk melihat kamu merasa bahagia,

--

pergilah terbang ke tempat yang lebih indah,

karena aku masih belum mampu melukis mimpi yang kamu mahu.

aku yakin, kamu bisa mengukir senyum tawa yang tak pernah aku lihat.

biar pun aku di sini merasa tenat,

menghitung lelah,

untuk melepaskan kamu itu sukar.

tapi semua itu untuk kamu.

--

biarkan aku sendiri.

yang masih belum mampu melukis mimpi.

ini semua untuk,

kamu.

Kalau sayang?

Kalau anjing menyalak, baik aku diam.

Bukan aku takut.

Aku cuma mau tenang.

Kalau kucing mengiau, baik aku tatang.

Bukan aku risau.

Aku cuma mau tenangkan.

Kalau sayang?

Pemikir

Ini sang pemikir.

Pemikir sampah.

Pemikir masa depan.

Pemikir untuk si cinta hati.

Ini sang pemikir

Gundah gulana.

Hiruk pikuk.

Ia kejam menilik mesin masa.

Ini sang pemikir.

Si pemakan garam.

Hidup ia takkan mati berhenti berfikir.

Iya, untuk secebis sampah yang tak pernah luput.

Ini sang pemikir.

Aku bukan tuhan.

Aku cuma kubu perang,

buat si cinta hati.

Maaf.

Itu aku. si bodoh berfikir.

Pstt. Ini tentang kotak rahsia kita.

Aku boleh bayangkan isi kotak rahsia kita.

Ia sangat hebat,

Kalau aku dapat lukiskannya.

Ia akan jadi satu potret untuk dibawa ke syurga.

Kata yang dihembur seperti omong kosong.

Hey! Lihat ini. Apa yang aku buat !

. . . . 

Apa kau masih buta?!

Lekas celik, jangan kelu.

. . . .

Masih kabur?

Kalau kau mau masa untuk melihat,

Aku beri segenap ruang untuk kau selongkar.

Rungkai apa ada didalam.

Masih mau tau apa isinya?

/Psttt, itu kotak rahsia kita.

I hate exams !

Yeay but not yeay. I've done my final exam with rush and awesome random feelings.
Totally I'm not happy with my final exams (in certain papers) especially ENGLISH PAPER !
Fuck, the instructor screw me up! At first yeah,  she's shouting with her mighty voice.
"Please answer section B in the question paper and section C in answer booklet"
and I was like "Oookay!" I heard that clearly. Thanks for shouting.

After 15 minutes, Ms. L came and told ........................................
and I was like, huh huh? I can't hear you, Ms L.
So should I shout in exam hall, WHAT Ms. L? I REALLY CAN'T HEAR YOU?!
I've start answering section B in question paper. So yeah, section B was good and too easy for me :P

Turn to Section C
There's two dialogue questions and I'm totally in love with this paper. Oh goodness.
....
.......
...........
Okay, question C 1 done. Continue to question C 2.
...
"Times up! Please stop writing."
WHATTT? I'm not finished yet, Instructor.

After that, I met Bobo and he told me. The section B must be answer in Answer Booklet not in the question paper because lecture's won't mark the answer in the question paper. And I was like...
WHATT? SERIOUSLY?

I won't be happy for my semester break. Fuck yeah !

Ini untuk Ibu.

Aku sedih, bila dia memberikan aku sesuatu yang dia tak mampu.

Aku marah, bila dia ditengking oleh sang raja.

Aku tak sanggup lihat perih yang dia tanggung.

Tiada apa yang mampu untuk aku lakukan.

Tiada apa yang lebih indah selain cinta aku terhadap dia.

Aku tahu dia letih,

Aku tahu dia sakit,

Biar aku lapar kurus kering.

Biar hidup aku untuk si dia.

Biar aku ditikam dengan pisau tajam,

Biar mati aku untuk si dia.

Nanti sampai suatu masa, aku mati, 

aku mahu dia tahu semua yang aku buat untuk dia.

Ini untuk Ibu :)

Melihat dia pergi,

Sometimes I get so happy being with you that I just wanna hug you. 

But then, I get scared that you will hug me back.

And then it gets too damn hard when you decide, its already time to let go.

Times are getting hard, and the weak are about to get weaker.

And yeah. I miss you.

Nov14 : Nota untuk si Pelangi.

Kehadapan si Pelangi.

Aku tagih warnamu,

Letih aku tunggu,

Perih aku tak mahu.

Mananya si Pelangi?

Aku tagih awanmu.

Kehadapan si Pelangi.

Aku berdiri tiang tegak,

Melutut rebah aku batak,

Sakit aku biar marak.

Mananya si Pelangi?

Aku tagih ketawa riak.

Kehadapan si Pelangi.

Aku minta jangan berundur,

Bukan aku marah, cuma tegur,

Kemari sayang, biarku lentur.

Huh, Mananya si Pelangi?

Aku tagih cahaya tuk tidur.

Kehadapan si Pelangi

Usahlah merajuk kayak beruk,

Aku tak mahu kau renyuk,

Janganlah monyok teruk.

Kemari wahai Pelangi.

Aku yang teruk ni, mau pujuk,

Pergi mati.

Aku nak sampaikan pesan buat orang orang tersayang,
yang rasa diri kalian itu banyak duit.

Pergi jahanam la kau orang dengan duit kau orang, aku tak luak la duit kau orang tu.

Lebih 10 kali aku bilang, yang aku tak ada duit. Huh, untung la kalian banyak duit, kan? 

Boleh enjoy sana sini, boleh beli barang itu ini.
Tapi jangan heret aku, kalau aku bilang aku tak mahu.

Jangan caci maki aku, jangan putus saudara, jangan laa tarik muka, kawan :)

Aku tak minta apa apa dari kau orang, aku cuma minta tolong faham.
Aku bukan la macam kau orang,

famili kaya raya, anak orang berada, tinggal di rumah 2 tingkat, kereta mahal. 

Aku bukan la cemburu buta, aku tak mati dengan semua benda benda itu. 

Kadang kadang aku terasa rimas apa yang kau orang agungkan tu. Huh, entah lah.

Nilai aku untuk kau orang, cuma seorang manusia biasa.
Tiada istilah duit terpampang di muka aku..

Aku cuma boleh bayar kalian dengan senyum tawa yang terbahak bahak.

Itu sahaja yang aku mampu. Bukan lah aku kedekut untuk keluarkan duit. 

Manalah tahu, ada yang lebih penting untuk itu.

Kau orang mungkin tak sedar, kau orang mungkin mengata. 

Tapi tak mengapa, aku faham perangai manusia. 

Niat aku bukan untuk menghentam,
aku penat melayan karenah karenah manusia tolol yang agungkan duit..

Hey, untuk apa? Cukuplah sekadar biasa biasa saja. 

Untuk makan di TGI Fridays? Untuk beli Louis Vuitton?

Peliknya kehidupan urban, belanja terus sampai mati ya bang? 

Buat kalian yang banyak duit, pergi mati dengan duit duit kau orang.

Buat kalian yang terasa tempelak aku, aku minta maaf. Aku harap kalian faham. 

Aku mahu tidur tersenyum, ada wang kita ketemu lagi ya.

//Efek Rumah Kaca - Belanja Terus Sampai Mati.

Fate.

Do you believe in fate?

Fate definition :
Something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot: It is always his fate to be left behind.


Coincidence, thats all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence. There are no miracles. There is no such thing as fate. Nothing is meant to be - (500) days of Summer


"These were the last few lines from the movie 500 days of summer which I just happened to watch (yes, for a change and after long). I think this is a particularly refreshing take on how one could interpret the events in one’s life. I for all this time was closer to the notion that there is a reason for what’s happening around you and in particular with you. This meant I could still remember that first glance, that first phone call, that first conversation and so many more firsts that even today I would be ready to believe there ought to be a reason for it happening with me. But for all I know it could have just been coincidence. I know it takes away the fairy tale story line out of the plot but now I think it could well be true but my heart still doesn’t want me to believe it."


Every man has his own destiny, the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him :)
takenote : Everything happens for a reason. And when fate happens, look for the good in it as it is there.

You made my day !

..3 2 1 anddd action ! 

Hoh, dah lama gua tak update blog disbbkan sangat busy ! Haih.

Butt this time, I really need you, blog, I don't have any social network at this time :D

Today, i had my first date after a year :D 

and for sure, I fall in love with someone <3

Everything is like this,

I love her smile,

I lover her hair, (definitely)

I love her knees,

I love how one eye is higher up on her face then other eye,

I love how she looks in my Clash T-shirt,

I love how she looks when she's sleeping,

I love the sound of her laugh,

I love how to hear this song every time I think of her,

I Love how she makes me feel, like anything's possible, or like life is worth it.

Magaddd ! *slappp me*

Am I dreaming? lol.

Holding hand in IKEA, We scrag meatballs together! (google translate pls :P)

Everything happened so fast andd I can't believe that I am someone boyfriend :P

Okay, i love you. Thanks for bright up my day <3 !

kbaiii.

Happy Ramadhan and Happy Fasting !

Assalamualaikum.

I am here to pledge forgiveness for any wrong doing which i've done direct or indirect.

I wanna wish to all of my buddy and muslims, Happy Ramadhan and Happy Fasting :)

Hoping together we celebrate this Ramadhan al-Mubarak with full of blessing and fill it with good deed!

#Hihi, i wont update my blog until Rayaa.

I've been busy with my business stuffs :P

I would like to invite you you and you to my bazaar !

Desa Pandan, tent 16 :)

I wanna go somewhere and I don't care where.

I wish I could go away from here.

But I don’t know when to start, where to go.

In the dark, it’s cold and wet here. 

I’m too scared to see anything.

Who is going to hold me if I fall?

I wish I could run through the trees.

Feel, pain while mountains burning there

See, there are some who don’t want to see

But I have to keep going through.

And leave the pasts.

Can you show a thousand emotions?

Can you show how beautiful world it is?

Let’s move on, away from here.

This world won’t be a tragedy.

Cause I’m still here, breathing now

We could see everything in this world

Believe me somehow we can make it so bright

Why do we feel like we can’t survive?

We should throw it all away and go.

We all fall behind the times.

Keep going to an unknown place where

To know how I can breathe so easy

I’m just trying to be myself.

This is just a beginning.

I found that place where we always went before

Someday we all return to the forest. 

To the ground, air or space 

Souls are flowing around here 
And it will never end.

LOVE is not enough a word for you.

originally from me, butterbahn deathsy <3

Chelsea Asia Tour 2011

Oh my, I'm so in love with Malaysia vs Chelsea match. 

It was totally superb ! All Malaysia players did a great job.

They show us their totally defensive play are succeed.

Much respect to Farizal Marlias and the others :)

It was unexpected match. Supposed to be the match ended with 0-0.

Didier Drogba freekick hit Malaysia right crossbar.
But the linesman referee has claimed it was a goal.

Uhh, it's time to use technology on football game. 

Congratulations to both teams and i hope they will come to Malaysia again :)

and and I'm ready to hear those provocation from others club hooligans :)

I really don't give a damn. You're on , man :)

Result : Malaysia 0 - 1 Chelsea

#Keep the Blue Flag Flying High !

30 hari mencari pasal.

Mm, i don't know what i feel. I feel random. 

Err, besok ada presentation. Nak prepare pun rasa malas. Tak tahu la kenapa.

Haha, tengok kiri kanan. Semua dah berubah. Ada yang dah kerja, ada yang dah kahwin. 

Err. Aku sorang je tak berubah lagi.

*sigh*

Tidur pun bangun 2-3 petang. Sumpah tak sukaa. Terasa rugi je sehari :(

Terasa nak buat macam 30 hari mencari cinta tu la. Boleh?

Atleast ada orang boleh kejut aku bangun pagi. Suara mcm Shila Amzah tu pun jadi la -_-'' 

Alarm clock aku memang tak jalan la :P

Oh will you be mine for 30 days? 

Okay i feel worst. 

Bye.

#Beribu sesalan - Shila Amzah punya part :P

Membersihkan.

Okay, i wanna share something about what happened to our country lately.

and i wanna conclude all this things. I talk about what i saw, what i heard.

Mm, i am not a pro-government, and not a pro-pakatan rakyat or whatsoever.

I just an observer.

Im gonna show you some of the pros and cons.

Can you conclude? Watch and think. 

Aku tau ni kerja dorg. Tapi mcm tak ada sifat humanity. betul tak?

Lepas tu isu perkauman naik. Aku tengok orang melayu maki bangsa bangsa lain dekat wall.
Menyalak sumpah seranah bangsa lain. Apa yang korg nak?

Kalau korang ni orang orang kerajaan, kenapa tak sokong Najib? 

1 Malaysia. United all races. Tapi nak menyalak lagi?

Mcm nii la melayu tipikal. Aku bukan nak kutuk bangsa aku. 

Korang nak 13 Mei tu balik ke? Mak bapak korang kena rodok semua?  

This demonstration shows everything.

Media? Lagi la banyak menipu.

Patriot? Kenapa dorang ada dekat situ?

Facebook? Masih ramai yang menyalak.

Politik? Semua korupsi. Aku tak nampak lagi yang mana betul.

Berhenti la provokasi.

Fikir la sendiri mana baik, mana buruk. Jangan jadi mcm budak kecik.

Kena jentik, dah nak menyalak.

Confession of the day !

*glass break sound effect
Err, I shouldnt but i don't know. I feel random. :)

I miss my pasts being together with this baby. I miss her laugh, i miss her smile.

But this is all my memories. I should leave all this fucking things behind.
The best way is move on. Yeah, I did. I really did. 

Past is past. Everything happens for a reason. For sure, i have no regrets.

As a professional god creature, yeah we're still in a relationship.. as a friend.
But i want you to know that i..
..
*cengkerik sound effect. okay bye

July, 1. Rainy day, I am in love.

Okay, so this is July 1, and it’s still cold, gray, and rainy around here. But, you’ve got to love it. Here’s why and what i am doing in rainy day. Let's enjoy a rainy day :)

1. Going for a walk

It sounds stupid, but there is no bigger pleasure than walking along the road in the middle of city, think and meditate :D

2. Take pictures

It is so fascinating, the rain. It makes me feel a deep contact with nature. And then, rain is beautiful to see. I will go around the town and take some pictures, it is an amazing way to discover a new side of the place where I live.

3. Listen to some good music

If I’m looking at my personal collection of albums I’m getting pissed off by myself because I have plenty of great music that I have never had time to listen to. You know the feeling, I prefer oldies song to listen or British pop. Time to listen something new, open up your ears and mind!

4. Reading

A rainy day is the perfect moment for start reading the book that is sitting next to our bed since a while. Turn off the TV and radio, listen to the sound of rain drops and let myself fall into the magic of reading. Lala~

5. Enjoy the Scenery

How every street, car, traffic, and neon light is doubled by it’s reflection on the wet street.  The feeling of rain on my face, the wind blows to my body <3 

6. Take a nap

Probably I will never get this opportunity again, in the next busy days. Goodnight. Have sweet rainy day :)